by Penny Martin

If I had the opportunity to handpick my mother-in-law I would choose my husband’s mother over and over again.  She was a sweet, humble woman—one who never interfered in her children’s lives, yet one who was always there when we needed her.  She was filled with commonsense wisdom, yet didn’t offer such unless we asked.  She never demanded attention and was a good listener.  She was indeed a blessing.  She lived the love of God.  When Rita passed away in January of 2000, it was a great loss for her husband of 50+ years, for her adult children—Jim (my husband), Ann Marie, and Michael—and for our entire family.  But through this time of tremendous grief for us, God opened our eyes to a new way to bring comfort to others.

Two years prior to Rita’s death, my husband and I began a new business featuring products crafted from a unique stone (Jerusalem Stone) that comes from Jerusalem.  During Jim’s business travels to Israel, he had become captivated by this strikingly beautiful stone that had been used to build the City of Jerusalem, the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, the Wailing Wall, and all the holy sites of Jerusalem.   Many discussions later, we formed a business that imported Jerusalem Stone and created a line of gifts made of this sacred stone.  Michael, Jim’s brother, developed the cutting, sanding, and polishing processes of the stones.  When Jim and Michael’s mother died, Michael went into the company’s warehouse, took one of the small chiseled crosses that numbered among our product line and cut it into two crosses.  One was placed in his mother’s hand as her body lay in the casket, and he gave the other to his sister Ann Marie as a keepsake.

At the time, Michael was seeking a way to ease his sister’s, as well as his own, grief.  Although I was grieving as well, I understood the depth of their pain at the loss of a parent.  My father had died when I was only 20 years old.  I remember the suffocating feeling—as if I couldn’t catch my breath—when I realized that I would never be able to see my father again, never be able to sit down and talk with him again…  I found that the only way to alleviate that feeling of pain was to reach out to God in prayer for his soul.  As I prayed, I was given the peace to understand that I had not lost him.  My father was not only safe “at home”, but was also forever with me.  We are united through the love of Jesus throughout eternity—both in this life and the next.

Years later when my brother-in-law Michael placed the cross in his sister’s hand, Ann Marie felt an overwhelming sense of peace.  Just as I had done many years earlier, she too realized that her mother was safe in the hands of God and that her mother’s spirit was with her as well.  Through this tangible reminder of her faith, God granted Anne Marie comfort and “the peace that surpasses all understanding…in Jesus Christ”.

Several years later I told the story of Michael’s cross to one of our wholesale buyers.  She insisted that there was  a need for bereavement gifts and encouraged me to introduce this double cross as a new product.

How could Michael’s unique cross be meaningful to anyone but our family?

I looked upon this unique gift as something very personal and hesitated to add it to our product line.  However, after repeated requests, we introduced what is now called “the Comfort Cross®.”  I am grateful for my wholesale buyer’s encouragement to introduce it, not because it took off as our best-selling product, but rather because of the ministry God has given us as a result!

Just as that first Comfort Cross® brought God’s peace to our family, we continue to hear stories—truly moving stories—of how this symbol of God’s eternal love for us has brought grace and comfort to those who are suffering the loss of a loved one.  Holding the cross in one’s hand brings comfort in itself.  Yet holding it as we offer prayers for the souls of our loved ones and ask God to fill the void and heal the pain of our loss, strengthens our awareness of His presence.  It’s as though through this tangible connection we embrace the symbol of Christ’s  own suffering and are comforted knowing He is with us in our own pain and suffering.  He is with us always.

The Comfort Cross®, a tangible reminder of our trust in God, combined with our prayers for the deceased, connect us to the compassionate love of our Lord Jesus Christ who provides the healing and peace we  seek.

Now, as Christmas approaches and as I again—as I do so often during the year—reflect upon the life of my mother-in-law, I can’t help but smile when I think of God’s perfect plans.  Isn’t it just like Him to use such a loving, humble woman to touch the hearts of so many with His love?  For it was through our pain and grief at losing Rita that a new way was born to comfort others in their own loss!

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Penny Martin is co-founder with her husband of Holy Land Stone Co., LLC, a company that makes memorable, inspiring products of Jerusalem Stone from the Holy Land.  You may reach her at penny@holylandstone.com (be sure to mention “Catholic Business Journal”) when you communicate with her.